BHUTANESE CULTURE

AND

ETIQUETTE

Introduction

While Bhutan is one of the smallest countries in the world, its cultural diversity and richness are profound. As such, strong emphasis is laid on the promotion and preservation of its unique culture. By protecting and nurturing Bhutan’s living culture it is believed that it will help guard the sovereignty of the nation. Bhutanese society is centered on the practice of Buddhism, which is the main religion. Religious beliefs are evidenced in all aspects of life. 75% of the population is Buddhist, and 0.4% other religions.

Language

Dzongkha is the national language of Bhutan. Literally Dzongkhag means the language spoken in the dzong/administrative centers in all the twenty Dzongkhag in Bhutan.

Eating habits and Bhutanese Cuisine

Traditional Bhutanese eating habits are simple and, in general, food is eaten with hands. Family members eat while sitting cross legged on the wooden floor with food first being served to the head of the household first.

It is usually women who serve the food and in most cases, the mother. Before eating, a short prayer is offered and a small morsel placed on the floor as an offering to the local spirits and deities. With modernization, eating habits have changed and in urban areas, people usually eat with cutlery whilst seated at a regular dining table.

Eating with spoons is an imported culture. Most of the Bhutanese still use traditional plates made of wood (dapa/dam/dolom) and bamboo (bangchungs).

Traditionally dishes were cooked in earthenware, but with the easy availability of modern goods, pots and pans have largely replaced their use. A typical Bhutanese meal consists of rice, a dish of Ema Datshi, the country’s favorite dish of chili and cheese, pork, beef curry or lentils. People also drink salted butter tea (suja) and alcohol. Doma (betel leaf and are ca nut eaten with a dash of lime) is also carried by many in their pouch. Offering of Doma to someone is an act of friendship, politeness and a mark of generosity.

The staple foods of Bhutan are red rice (like brown rice in texture, but with a nutty taste, the only variety of rice that grows in high altitudes), buckwheat, and increasingly maize. The diet in the hills also includes chicken, yak meat, dried beef, pork, pork fat, and lamb. Soups and stews of meat, rice, ferns, lentils, and dried vegetables, spiced with chili peppers and cheese, are a favorite meal during the cold seasons. Zow shungo is a rice dish mixed with leftover vegetables.

BIRTH

The birth of a child is always welcomed. In Bhutan extended family and guests are discouraged from visiting during the first three days after the birth.

 The outsiders, normally, do not visit the child for first three days as the house is considered polluted by kaydrip (defilement by birth). Thus, a purification ritual (Lhabsang) is conducted in the house, after which the outsiders come to the house to see the new born baby. Gifts are brought for the newborn and the mother. The gifts range from rice and dairy products in the rural places to clothes and money in the urban.

The child is not immediately named. Generally, the names are given byreligious person. The child is also taken to the temple of the local deity (natal deity) and the name associated with the deity is given. In some cases, the child is given the name of the day on which the child is born. The horoscope of the baby known as kye tsi is written based on Bhutanese calendar. It details out the time and date of the birth, predicts the future of the child, rituals to be executed at different stages in the life of the child as remedy to possible illness, problems and misfortune.

Traditionally, the culture of celebrating birthdays did not exist. However, it has now become popular especially amongst the town and city dwellers.

Well, everybody know how women a gets pregnant. When a child is in the mother’s womb, Buddhist scripture like Domang are read by Chops (the religious practitioners) in the house of pregnant woman. The goal is a good birth of child and to avoid birth complications to the mother. In villages, the pregnant woman and her family start collecting eggs and butter. They ferment rice for Changkoe (local beverages fermented from cereals) and start buying clothes, nappies and other soft garments for the yet to be born child.

Usually, pregnant woman do not disclose the news until the advanced stages of pregnancy. Even if they do disclose, it is usually only to the husband or the pregnant woman’s mother.it is believed that if the woman talk about the birth of the child, it will invite bad luck and harm for the child. It is usually left for the other people to know from the physical changes that the woman is pregnant. It is also considered rude for a person to talk about the pregnancy of woman in the villages. The people in eastern Bhutan reference to a pregnant woman by saying Zuk Manampa which means that the woman feel uncomfortable. Even when the child is born, they say Watsa Thongmala which means the child has been found. For the cattle, the expression is phekpala which means “opened up” the calf has been opened to the world.

As the woman near delivery, preparations are made for the pregnant woman to bathe. Firewood, a wooden bathing trough, bowls and hard stones are collected. Then the day comes when the woman show the symptoms of delivery. The women who are already mothers, especially the relatives, gather in the house of pregnant woman. However, the crowd is very limited. If the pregnant woman show the sign of complications (getting excessive pain and not able to labor), they will find a woman who had delivered her child with eases. Such a woman would touch the womb of the woman in pain. She will make prayer and make wishes that the pregnant woman would deliver like her. Widows, woman who cannot have children and other women whose children have died are not invited for such occasion.

  When she gives birth to the child it is picked up by the woman present and the umbilical cord is cut. The woman who picks up the baby then washes it while the mother is given a cup of melted butter. If the woman is not able to give birth, the Changkoe which had remained closed in some container is usually opened during this time. It is believed that the smell from opening the Changkoe container will ease the child birth.

The placenta is usually hidden in a pot/ container for few days and then buried in to the earth. It is considered a bad omen if other people see the placenta but how ever due to the modernization it is rarely practiced on the countryside.

On the morning after the child has completed three nights of life, the lhabsang ceremony is conducted. Only after the lhabsang ceremony the relatives, neighbors and friends come to see the child, bringing gifts of both the cash and cloths. The guest makes wishes by offering the money for baby to have long life, prosperity and happiness without sicknesses. The fermented rice, Changkoe, which had been prepared especially for the occasion of the child’s birth, is then served to the guest.

The family of the child requests the tsip (Astrologer) to study the astrology of the child. The tsip usually records the time, day, month and the year of the birth of the child which is accordance to the Bhutanese lunar calendar to make a keytsi. This is kind of document, which include all the important details relating to the time of birth, birth sign, and the projection of what the person is going to be or what kind of character he person is going to have. The tsip put in to writing the forecast of the child’s future life with all the problems that he/she going to accomplish. They also predict the child’s character. It is also believed that if the keytsi is read often by a person, it will remove the misfortunes in his/her life. Therefore the keytsi are usually preserved for the future use and reference in the later part of the child’s life. It also acts as the documentary proof of the child’s birth in the village. The child is fed with rice flour cooked in butter beside breastfeeding after about two months old

Now with the development and improvement of the free health service within, every part of the Dzongkhags and also due to encourages from the ministry of health. People are more concern about the safety of the child as well as the mother, that’s why most of the child are delivered in the hospitals and the old tradition are rapidly getting lost.

MARRIAGE

Until just a few decades ago arranged marriages were common and many married among their relatives. In eastern Bhutan cross-cousin marriages were also once common, however, this practice is now becoming less common place among the literate masses and most marriages are based on the choice of the individuals.

Marriages are simple affairs and are usually kept low-key. However, elaborate rituals are performed for lasting unions between the bride and the bridegroom. As the religious ceremony comes to an end, parents, relatives and friends of the couple present the newlyweds with traditional offerings of scarves along with gifts in the form of cash and goods.

In the Western Bhutan, it was commonplace that the husband goes to live in his wife’s house after marriage while the practice in Eastern Bhutan is for the wife to move into the husband’s home.  Of course, the newlyweds may also choose to live on their own.  Divorce is also an accepted norm and carries no ignominy or disgrace within the country.

Arranged marriages were popular just a few decades back. Normally, people married among the relatives. For instance, particularly in eastern Bhutan, cross-cousin marriage was a popular tradition. This is now becoming unpopular among the literate mass and most of the marriages take place based on their own choice. Marriages are conducted in simple ways. A small ritual is performed by a religious person. However, in some cases dinner parties are organized. The parents, relatives and the friends present scarves (kha-dar) to the couple along with gifts in the form of cash and goods in most cases during the ritual.

In the western part of Bhutan, the husband goes out to the wife’s house after marriage while in the eastern Bhutan it’s just the reverse. This practice is however not mandatory. The new couple may set up their own household on their own plot of land. Divorce is accepted in the Bhutanese society and carries no stigma. The divorced couple in most situations remarries with new partners. However, compensation is paid by the party seeking separation.

Marriage in Bhutan is a social occasion where the Family, relatives and friend of both the bride and groom actively participate.Hisorical records speak of arranged marriages happening, mostly in the upper and rich class Bhutanese family. However love marriage was very popular among the middle class family. Even if the marriage begins with love affairs, family approval was, and still is, sought in most cases. This is because the family concept in Bhutan is still strong. Marriage ceremonies can be as simple as staying together, without any ceremonies, to grand parties. If the families of both the bride and groom approve the marriage, the families host feasts in the name of couple.

The tsip is consulted who will suggest the proper day and time after reading the datho (daily astrology book). Then the grooms relatives and friends on the day of the marriage bring the bride from her house to the groom’s house. There are no customary rules regarding whether the groom goes to brides house or vice versa. It is usually determined by melap. Melap, crudely translated means the number of hands available for work. A lama or a religious practitioner conducts payers for the wellbeing of the couple. During the course of the prayer, the lama offers the eight auspicious articles to the bride and the groom. Zhungdrel and Marchang ceremonial aunty or the daughter of his mats is also conducted. The bride and groom drink some Ara (home brewed wine) from the same cup and then they are man and woman. The parents of the bride and groom bless them and then the family member’s relatives and friends offer Khadhar (ceremonial scarf) and gifts to the couple, congratulating them and also making wishes.

 Ceremonial tea and rice are served to the guests among the other items in the menu. The gifts can range anything from some cash and Khadhar to car and houses these days. There is no dowry system in Bhutanese where the bride’s family has to pay the grooms family as some kind of compensation. In the east, a boy marrying his cousin from his maternal uncle is a socially accepted custom. Such marriageable first cousins are either called Serga khotkin or Serga mathang, referring to the boy and the girl respectively. Serga khotkin means Golden brother in-law and the Serga mathang means the golden sister in-law. It is believed that such practices were done to avoid the wealth of the family from going out and also to avoid the people from the other communities coming in a as relatives.

In some villages in the eastern Bhutan like in Dungsum Nganglam, a small family drama is enacted. The family of the grooms on the arrival at the bride’s home is served with the wine on the cup made out of the banana leaves. The grooms family cut open the cup at the bottom and accuses the bride’s family of the maltreating the groom and hence the quarrel breaks out. However, this is taken very humorously often leading to the unprompted laughter. It is believed that whatever quarrel they are going to have later is being done on the day of the marriage so that they will not have quarrels, misunderstandings and frights later.

The marriage for the southern Bhutanese’s is altogether a very different affair. The marriage happens in the bride’s house and the Brahmins usually preside over the religious ceremony. The bride and the groom are required to walk three times around the fire with the ends of their scarves tied together as the priest chant the mantra. Then they are declares man and woman.  The parents and the elders bless both the bridge and the groom and the family members, relatives and friends follow. Although marriage by love is accepted by southern Bhutanese, the family of either partner do not usually accept it if the others comes from the lower caste than themselves. After the marriage is settled, the bride usually stays with the groom’s family. She even adds her husband’s surname to hers.